Accursed Hello Kitty Underwear
by ooglybooglygirl
Summary: Tsuna finds himself regretfully forced to wear his most hated pair of underwear. Did he say regret? Is that Reborn with sniper? Oh Kami, why do you hate Tuna? CRACK FIC! ONE SHOT! Implied 592780/ Main 1827 Warnings:Nudity ;


_Oh no, Kami-sama, please no! _Tsuna thought to himself as he frantically pulled all of his clothing out of his drawers as he searched for one specific article of clothing.

_No… _His face fell as realized he didn't have what he was looking for. He squeezed his eyes shut and roughly yanked open the top drawer. He opened his eyes and shuddered, unable to suppress his horror.

There, in that drawer, was a single item. It was a pair of his boxers, folded neatly and pushed into the back corner. However, it wasn't just an ordinary pair of boxers. No, they would be horrifying to wear and not just for Tsuna. Any man with pride would shrink away at the sight of them.

They were… PINK! WITH ADORABLE HELLO KITTIES PRINTED ALL OVER THEM!

Tsuna had opened his drawer this morning only to find it empty except for that single pair of underwear. He had torn up his room, hoping to find another pair of misplaced but clean underwear, but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.

Kami hated him that much.

He picked up the boxers using only his thumb and forefinger, eliciting another shudder.

Why, you might ask, does he even own such a horrendous pair of underwear?

It all went back to his birthday several years ago. He had received a present from a very _very _distant aunt on his father's side, whom he had never met.

He opened it to find the fore mentioned undergarments, along with a note. It read:

_Dear Tsunayoshi-chan, _

_Even though we've never met, I'd like to consider you one of my very best girl friends. I hope you like your present. Even though they're men's boxers they make very cute shorts! ;) _

_~ love Auntie _

_PS. You have a very manly name, don't you Tsu-chan? _

_She thinks I'm a girl…_he thought with a sigh. He had planned on tossing the unwanted 'shorts' at his first available opportunity. However, when his mom caught him about to toss them in the garbage he was scolded severely.

So, he'd shoved them to the bottom of his underwear drawer and done his best to forget about them. He'd been doing a very good job too, until today that is. Today, the day he'd found out they were the only clean pair he had left.

He gulped at them. _Maybe… I could just… not wear underwear today? _Tsuna interrupted himself with a slap. No, not a mental slap. He literally smacked his free hand across his face, much to the amusement of Reborn, who was watching hidden in the shadows.

No, he absolutely couldn't go commando today of all days. He was going out with Gokudera and Yamamoto today.

For what, he had no idea, but they had each invited him separately, and then when they found out about the other they had gotten all huffy and said something about letting him decide. Tsuna, confused, asked why they just didn't go all together. Yamamoto accepted with a grin, and Gokudera with an exasperated sigh. Really, his boss was rather clueless sometimes wasn't he?

_Well, I could just reuse a pair? _But that idea was immediately rejected. Above all Tsuna loved being clean; after all, it was one of the few luxuries Reborn allowed him. Reusing a pair of _dirty _underwear was definitely _not _clean.

So, between dirty underwear and hello kitty underwear he'd definitely choose hello kitty. But then again, between hello kitty and death, he'd choose death. Yeah, his priorities were that screwed up.

His inner battles were cut short when he heard the door bell ring down stairs. _What should I do?_

* * *

_I should have gotten rid of these when I had the chance. I should have gotten rid of these when I had the chance. I should have gotten rid of these when I had the chance! _ Was all Tsuna could think as he walked down the road would Yamamoto and Gokudera-kun on either side of him.

Yes, he had chosen the Hello Kitty underwear, against his better judgment, and now his hyper tuition was telling him he was going to regret it.

"Tsuna! Let's get some ice cream," Yamamoto suggested, grabbing Tsuna's hand and pulling him along. Tsuna was too entranced in his underwear dilemma to pay the rain guardian to pay Tsuna any attention.

"Wait a second Baseball-Freak! Don't just decide things by yourself!" Gokudera protested.

"Why not? Do you dislike ice cream Gokudera?"

"N-no but…"

"Besides, eating ice cream is a perfect moment to discuss _that." _

Gokudera blushed. "F-fine, but only because the tenth seems to want ice cream…"

So the three boys purchased ice cream and sat down on a bench, each so distracted by their own thoughts that they failed to realize that the others were in similar positions. Gokudera was the first to break the silence.

"Juudaime, Baseball Freak and I have something very important to discuss with you," he began, breaking the other two boys out of their trances.

"Hmm?" Tsuna hummed, still slightly absent minded. "What is it Gokudera-kun?"

"Tsuna, we want to know who you pick!" Yamamoto answered for the Storm.

"Pick for what?" Tsuna did his best to finally give his full attention to the two.

Gokudera blushed again before responding, "P-p-pick for your b-b-b-boy-" Gokudera was cut off when Tsuna suddenly jumped up bursting out of his clothes, revealing the dreaded but cute hello kitty underwear.

"REBORN!" he shouted, fire appearing on his forehead. "Throw away my underwear as if I were to die!"

To the shock and embarrassment of both of the Guardians Tsuna suddenly tore the underwear off his bottom, revealing his 'lil precious to the two, before he shot off at dying will speed in the direction of the nearest dump.

Gokudera and Yamamoto both watched dumbstruck, abashed, and with blood spurting un-stemmed from both of their noses as their friend, boss and the boy they were about to confess to ran down the public streets butt-naked.

"D-d-did you just see…"

"Yup," and as if on cue, both of the boys passed out.

* * *

Tsuna sprinted down the streets leaving a trail of smoke and screeching girls behind him. However, he wasn't lucky enough to reach the landfill in time. Even at dying will speed, it was too far away. So when the dying will wore off and Tsuna came too he found himself in the middle of a crowded shopping center, butt naked, holding only the tiny scraps of the shredded underwear he had planned on throwing away.

"h-h-h-HIE~~~!"

Yes, he Hiee'd that long. It was his longest Hiee on record. Reborn knew, because he timed with a stopwatch from his hiding place as a mannequin in a store front window. He watched, almost unable to hold in his mirth as Tsuna fainted, joining his Rain and Storm Guardians in the land of unconsciousness.

Tsuna woke up in a dark ally, still naked, and with a dark figure looming before him. He almost Hiee'd again, but found himself unable to. In fact, he thought it possible that he'd totally lost his voice.

"Herbivore," the dark figure growled, "What did you think you were doing, disturbing the peace with such a loud annoying sound, and naked too. Do you know I heard it from the Reception Room on the other side of town? Also some store owners are complaining you shattered their windows… How do you explain this?"

"H-hibari-san?" Tsuna regained his voice out of pure terror.

"Herbivore." This time Tsuna mentally HIEE'D! Then suddenly he was off doing his best to quickly explain the situation with his aunt, and no clean boxers and Gokudera and Yamamoto, and what he suspected had happened with Reborn and a dying will bullet, all while rubbing his sore throat.

"So basically Gokudera Hayato and Yamamoto Takeshi asked you out on a date so they could each confess to you, but because you disliked your boxers so much you decided to publicly strip, ditch them, and run off to throw away your underwear, in the process disrupting the discipline.

"WHAT!NO!" Tsuna was baffled by how the prefect had come to that conclusion.

"Hn. Well, don't worry about that stuff anymore Herbivore. I think you'd look very cute in Hello Kitty boxers." The Cloud smirked, as he pictured the brunette in nothing but the pink underwear.

"W-what?" But his thoughts were cut off when the Cloud's lips abruptly met with his, a moist tongue forcing entry into his mouth. He promptly fainted again.

The Cloud chuckled quietly to himself. He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it onto the brunette, buttoning it neatly. It was so big on Tsuna that it was long enough to cover his nether regions. The Prefect scooped the younger boy up in his arms and carried him the long distance to the Reception Room at Nami-chuu.

Tsuna was just beginning to stir in his arms as he walked into the room. "Hmm… Hibari-san… likes… hmm... hello kitty." The boy muttered in his sleep.

Hibari Kyoya shut the door behind him with a click, a smirk on his face, ready to play with his new toy.

* * *

Tsuna inexplicably awoke the next morning in his own bed, fully clothed. He had a pounding headache and couldn't quite remember what had happened the previous day.

He shrugged it off with a yawn, already walking towards his underwear drawer. He pulled it open sleepily. However, he couldn't stop his eyes widening or the shock from spreading throughout his body when he say what filled it.

It was stuffed to the brim with dozens of pairs of pink, hello kitty boxers.

"HIIIIEEEEEEEE! _HIBARI-SAN!"_

* * *

Hehe... The props to the idea of Tsuna wearing the hello kitty underwear go to solitary cloud, from her fic Worst Day.

So I was feeling kinky today, and was inspired. Hope you enjoyed, hope it made you laugh! Reviews of all kind are welcome.


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